The Simple Joy of Life: 49 days

It has been slightly more than 49 days now that she left us. Our Datin Leong got a stroke in June and left us in August, just 3 months before my wedding.

Although as I grow older, I find that I am not as close as I was to her than when I was young, I knew that it will never be the same again without her. I've stopped writing for a while now because I just don't know how to put things into words. However, this time, I decided I should write. At least write how I feel at this moment so that I will never forget this.

When she left, the one thing I feared the most was that I will forget - I will forget how she looked like when she smiled, when she sulked, when she was grumbling or complaining. I was afraid that I will forget how she sounded like. I didn't know that it is far more than that.

The moment they nailed her coffin, I knew that I will never see her ever again. This is one of the greatest loss I have experienced. What I did not know is how much it still hurts, 49 days later, to see old people out and about, to go out for meals, to celebrate birthdays without her. Each time I pass by the hospital, it saddens me. Each time I drive pass her cemetery, I wished I have chance to tell her how much I love her. Each time I see her pictures, I miss her.

Soon after she left, we went back to our routine. Though it may seem the same, all of us know deep inside, that everything has changed. Still, we are glad that she does not have to suffer any longer, our datin, who feared pain and death. She left, without fully conscious of what to come.

The Simple Joy In Life: Wedding Planning

If there is one advice I can give to those who are planning their wedding, this is one you have to remember:

"There is no such thing as too much time left for planning."

I once had 15 months to plan and to do all I can for my wedding,

I thought I have so much time left,

so I procrastinated.

Today, I have less than 2 months and there are tonnes of things I couldn't do because I don't have enough time.

So.

"There is no such thing as too much time left for planning."

Start early.

You can thank me later.

xoxo

P.